LOREN HAYNES

 The Making of this record and the final writing of the original songs took on a life of their own after the record was completed as it coincided with the worst personal multiple crisis I had ever encountered. This was the first music I was putting out in my own name, I previously used a pseudonym. Songwriting was so deeply personal to me and coming from an artistic and musical family, I took it very seriously. My songwriting was mostly inspired by my observations and frustrations at the struggling and forgotten lives of others. This release was intended to be the same, but at the suggestion of Bill Palmer our co- producer and engineer, who strongly felt that I own it fully and should put this release under my own name; at that moment I trusted it was time.... As I am inspired by my observations of the world, these songs were composed and inspired by those observations.. We were also filming the recording with the plan to expand the film to a full length documentary on the music business and the artists that I have worked with that reached the top, and then those that do it because it fills their spirit in life.

John Lennon wrote "Life happens when you are out making other plans." In the middle of making this record, and a film project I had written and was in active development, I was suddenly blind sided by a planned, malicious and multiple pronged attack on my life and my work, along with the loss of a loving life long relationship, I needed to forge through finishing this project. It meant so much and filled my soul. But in the end  I was beaten. On a drop of a dime I lost almost everything, The more I fought the more I lost. The film was shelved, the marketing and touring of the record, lost. The pain was devastating my world was suddenly spinning with absence of gravity. I couldn't listen to the record for months. I was suffering from PTSD just trying to just find a way of out. I couldn't work, create  or barely function. My life's work was derailed, money made,saved; gone to lawsuits and lawyers.  

My inspiration for "American Boy" is a song I wrote for our veterans fighting in wars that the should have asked to risk their lives for, specifically the invasion of Iraq and the resulting PTSD. As with the other songs I wrote that made the record, were inspired by my observations of others and my empathetic responses, or so I thought.  One day  I was driving and alone, I decided to put the record on in the car. I handy been able to listen to it for months or just didn't want to, as it brought back surrounding traumatic events. It was cathartic, painful, and shocking ! while listening it suddenly occurred to me that the songs I wrote, were not about others, but the songs were speaking to me about what I was going through in my life, in real time. Except it wasn't about my  life when the songs were written, as they hadn't occurred yet. Tears poured down my face as the record played. As I had been trying to wrap my head around the gale force winds of emotions caused by the trauma, Listening the lyrics, the emotional purging the singer was emoting, gave me the first pure explanation of what I was going through that to date I had not received and could I communicate what had happened. Even the title of the record fit into this non linear time of creation, I just discovered. 

It is now a "Memory of Time" and it had to be in my name. Mistakes were made time, money wiped away. But life goes on and this record was my cry and that means it falls true for others.After the record was completed, I sent the songs to one the top management companies in Nashville, I sent the digital files in an email to the owner the company, who days later responded in kind, expressed how much he liked the music, prior he was curious enough to look for who I was and what I did. He only found the the other professional works because I had not released anything in my name and was not touring and he didn't sense if the record had follow through theme and I was still too blind to see. The last line in America Boy is "someone save me from myself, I can no longer see I've got PTSD" For me songwriting or any art form is about truth, at that time I had no idea how deep this truth was and I was living it. I never responded back to David Macias @Thirty Tigers other than  thanking him for getting back to me and for taking the time listen to the music and look me up. I should looked myself up, because the narrative and life story was there in this record and just still hadn't recognized it, myself. A missed opportunity for us both. I am grateful we got to finish the record, before the walls caved....  Loren Haynes

This takes a lot of work, sacrifice, creativity, and people to bring  it to reality and completion. 

So I wish to share my deepest thanks to Arne Bey, for calling me out of the blue and telling he heard a band that he loved and it made him think of my music. That was the seed of this band coming and recording sessions coming together. But the seed in me had been planted in my soul many years before. I spent years trying to run from it from fear of it’s power and not being good enough. But, I always ran to the guitar and song when I needed a friend or lost a friend, or felt strongly about injustice to others. I can not sing a song that I don’t feel, mine or those of others.  

I have been inspired by many and from whose songs helped me to write my own. I hope these collection of songs touch and speak to you in some relatable way, now that it has landed on your lap. 

It would not be there without the help and talent of Arne Bey, Bill Palmer, Brian Haas, Matthew Vaughn, Kenny Poe, Alex McMahon, Justin Bransford , Manuel Ramirez,  Stephanie Hatfield, Danielle Haynes, John Treadwell, Arthur Spivak, Pam Springsteen, Marcel Van Limbeek, Jeff Black, David Busse, Michael Webb, and all the musicians, poets, writers, and human rights activists that have inspired and challenged me through the years. To mom for her love and support, and bringing music and dance into the house, to my dad for the voice, to my children Montana, Westin, and Adele for the love and joy that you bring and for giving me a reason to continue to take risks and challenge myself, so you can see that anything is possible if you work hard and never give up at what you love and feel passionate about. 

And lastly all of you who take this journey with me and in doing so adopt these songs.

Loren Haynes aka Ashton Jones